So far I’ve talked quite a bit about toxic relationships, but now I want to talk about the toxic relationships we have with our own bodies. I have two versions of me. In the vision I have of myself in my head I am fit, thin(ner) and flexible. I move through life with a happy lightness because my body and soul are in alignment. I eat well because I’ve come to realize food is medicine, and I want to fuel my body with the very best fuel that’s available to me.
But that’s not reality. My reality is I’m disabled. I have chronic pain from a hip fracture 5 years ago that messed up my leg and my nerves. I’m tired all the time and my diet is pretty poor, so poor that I recently was tested for glucose intolerance and I found out I am pre-diabetic, which means if I don’t change my diet I WILL become a diabetic.
I’m constantly fighting this internal battle. One part of me says to clean up my life, and do it NOW. The other part doesn’t want to accept all the hard work I’ll have to put in in order to feel better. I still want to treat my body like a garbage can – eat fast food, stay up late, smoke cigars (that’s a whole other blog post) and be negative. The inside me is constant. I either take the leap and change my life, even though I know it will be difficult and uncomfortable and will seriously push me outside of my comfort zone. Or I can continue to treat my body like a trash can and continue to feel tired, anxious and worn out all the time. The choice should be simple, but it’s not.
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